Concerning Women

In recent weeks we have come under fire due to the controversy surrounding the absence of any female characters in our new film. Thus we have composed a letter of apology to the female gender.

Dear Women,

We understand your concern regarding the lack of representation of your gender in Enigma Entertainment's upcoming feature 'Osiris Unbound'. We can see that this would be frustrating as we are some of the most acclaimed directors working in the industry today and serving under us would grant you unparallelled prestige. Therefore our decision to neglect your kind could, through the eyes of the uninformed, appear as imposing a glass ceiling upon your careers. However, we only had good intentions at heart.

We believe we are incapable of portraying women authentically due to our lack of experience as females, therefore it would be in your best interests that this film remain all-male, through and through.

Yours misogynistically,
Nicholas Ashurst and Philip Smith